Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Eau de Spit Up

A couple months back Mark made me aware that I had a permanent new smell.  It seems, which was news to me, that I now consistently smell like spit up.  I went in for a hug and asked my darling hubby if he liked the smell of my new body wash.  He informed that he couldn't smell it.  He could just smell milk.  Sour milk aka spit up to be exact.  I, feeling quite embarrassed, apologized and backed away.  He laughed and pulled me back in stating, "It's all good.  I kind of like it in a weird way!"  God love him, he's a great liar!  At least, that is what I was thinking at the time.  I was well aware that I have had a few instances where Benny had dosed me with his scent as if marking his territory, but I didn't think it was a constant fragrance!

A few mornings ago, I had an epic bout of being dosed with baby fluids.  It all started as I was beginning my day in the best way possible.  I was lying in bed feeding Benny.  It was time to switch sides, so I popped him up on my belly before putting him on the other side.  We were chest to chest, and he was lifting his little head up looking me straight in the eyes smiling and cooing away.  It was a perfect moment.  Not only was I so proud of him for holding his head up so well, but he was just so darn cute and happy my heart nearly burst with love!  Then, it happened.  He let loose pretty much every sip of milk he had just eaten all over my face, in my mouth, eyes, and hair, and all over the pillow behind my head.  Mind you, he never stopped smiling through all of this.  I know, I know... It seems impossible for someone to smile while puking, but little man has it down!  I laughed, because what else do you do at that point?  I cleaned Benny up and laid him to the side so I could clean myself and the bed up as well as I could at that point.  As I was swabbing little chunks of milk from my hair, I heard it.  It was the ominous sound of a baby fart that was not JUST a fart.  It was...well...more to say the least.  I, laughing once again, took Benny in to his room to change his larger than life diaper.  When I opened it up, it was bad.  I mean, REAL bad.  I'm just gonna be blunt.  There was poop EVERYWHERE!  He had it on his junk, up towards his belly button, and all the way up his back. Awesome.  Pure Awesome.  Just as I was finishing up the last little bit of wiping feces off of my giggling baby, Mark walked in.  I was laughing and telling him about the morning I had had so far.  This story took my focus off the naked baby butt my hand was in front of just long enough for round 2.  Round 2, the 2nd bout of explosive poo, went all over the changing table, the new diaper, and my hand.  You can't make this stuff up...

Needless to say, I decided a bath was the appropriate course of action at this point.  I threw all the soiled items in the bin, and ran him a bath.  Baths are Benny's favorite time of day, so he grew an even bigger smile on his face as I lowered him in.  So cute, so sweet, so smiley, and so began peeing all over the place.  In the course of 45 minutes, I had been puked on, pooped on, and now peed on as well.  It wasn't even 8am.

Later that evening, Mark and I were getting ready to go to one of our many holiday parties.  I had changed my clothing twice at this point due to Benny, once again. spitting up all over me.  I was laughing because I had put so much effort into getting ready.  I was determined to smell good.  Now, I simply smelled like perfumey spit up.  When we got to the party, I thought I had successfully derailed the stinkiness.  No such luck.  I looked down and realized my pants had a huge dried, stinky spot of baby juice all over the right thigh.  A few moments later, my loving little man decided that my shirt needed to match my pants and I was christened once again.  Lovely.

In the midst of all this, I began joking about it with my mommy friends.  I heard over and over, "You will miss that smell someday!"  Is that possible?  Do you actually get to the point where you miss the smell of sour breast milk?  I was skeptical.

That night I was lying in bed.  Benjamin had been asleep for a few hours already and I was exhausted.  I was thinking about what a sweet little man I had.  How good he had been through all of our holiday parties.  All of his smiles, his giggles, and how he just eats up the attention from anyone that wants to love on him.  I am so blessed to have such a special little guy was all I could think.  While I was thinking this, I grabbed my pillow and snuggled in.  At that moment, I realized that I never remembered to wash my pillowcase after the epic morning of baby fluids I had experienced.  It was funny.  I didn't get grossed out.  I smiled because I understood.  In a weird way, I kind of liked it. I held my pillow a little closer and fell fast asleep.

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Would love to hear your thought, comments, advice, or emotional outbursts!

-xoxo Jamie